Masala News – Sleepy Pilots,rich Dog,Orbituaries.

Recent newspapers had an interesting topic.TOI on 26^th June, had a great first page Headline “ BOTH PILOTS GONE OFF TO SLEEP”

Look at the irony.15 days back an IA flight flew from Jaipur to Mumbai.In the Air, they were told to take a particular path for Mumbai, which the pilot did, and somehow both the pilots went off to sleep.the  plane  overflew Mumbai and was half way to Goa, when the ATC in Mumbai unable to contact the pilots, thinking the plane has been hijacked, pressed a buzzer used in emergencies, which opened the eyes of the pilots.

The flight was immediately turned around and brought back to Mumbai halfway from Goa.I told this to  friend of mine in the park, and he said some relative of his is a pilot, drawing like 2.50 lakhs plus overtime.And these days they are overstressed due to shortage of pilots, they are made to fly more though they are well paid for it.

What he said was hilarious.Suppose the pilot’s  duty ends at Mumbai, and the other pilot has not turned up.They tell him take the plane to the next stop, say Goa, and the Goa pilot we have told and he is reaching the Airport.At Goa, that pilot did not trun up as he was caught in the traffic.He is told Chennai is just one hour away man , u get relieved there, we have a stand in pilot inChennai.So this way the pilot is exhausted, and hence falls asleep, as it happened in this case.

Drunk Pilots – Well another rproblem is that these days they have caught a lot of pilots who report drunk at the Airports.They say that take off is not a problem, but landing can be.And with shortages of pilots, they let them off with a warning unofficially.Good to know that Kamalji is not a pilot .But if he was, he would straighaway take u to Heaven, as he can talk his way thru any situation !

Dressed to Dupe 5 Star Hotel’s Staff – TOI – 27/6/08

For 25 years Vishwanathan has made it a habit to shuttle between  the best  addresses in Star Hotels and central prisons.And at both those places he dosnt cough up a penny for the facilities.

He has stayed in every luxury hotel in the South and duped them all.He  Is used to the employees fussing over him.And he stays for over 3 weeks in the best suites, the most expensive, has a imported Chauffer Car, and drinks the best of the whiskey’s and the wines.

My Comments – This guy is better than me.At least when he is called upstairs, he can tell the lord of all the best places he has stayed in, the best wines that he has had down his throat, and what will I tell the lord ?A few cane whacks for this luxury is worth it really, sometimes I feel.Well Well.

Americans Cut Down Costs by Cutting down on Vices – TOI – 25^th June 08

New York – The “latte” effect of the go go years had Americans spending $ 4 a day on coffee.Now the downturn is forcing them to rethink the wisdom of such habits.

Natasha Patel now takes the subway to home on weekends, saving 20 dollors on the Cab.Sports Cable is not an option for those who are out of jobs.

My Comments – Here in India,even the poor have cable connection, and go in autos sometimes.We are richer than the Americans,wow.

It’s a Dog’s Life – HT- 24^th june 08

The World’s richest dog has lost 5 million pounds (40 crores)- but can still look forward to a life of luxury.New York hotel Billionaire Leona Helmsley left 6 million pounds to her beloved dog,Trouble ( what a name) when she died in August last year,aged 87.But her will was challenged by close relatives who succeeded in reducing the dog’s inheritance to 1 million pounds ( 8 crores).

My comments – Better to be a dog in American than a human in asia.I would love to be in the lap of Vidya Balan,Deepika Padukone, snuggling  and sniffing here and there.God u are not kind to Kamalji.And I think I too will leave Tuffy something, maybe my Bar, and buy him a cow, so he can have as much milk as he wants eh !And when he tires, my bar is always there.

Headlines  With no comments

Klum Wants a Naked Sunday – TOI – 19/11/07  page 2

Invalid Lawyer seeks Alimony from Wife – TOI

Loyalty Pays off – Servant gets Multi Crore Gift – TOI – 21^st dec 06

Multiplexes bekon with Booze and Baby-Sitting – TOI 22^nd Dec 06

An interesting pic from the news papers.



SOME INTERESTING ORBITUARIES


This Sahu Shital Case - The son keeps talking to his mother and father, and he puts orbitsof both of them, and keeps updating them on the court cases that are on.

Shri Himat - they have put the song from Jab Pyar Kissi Se Hota Hai - Sau Saal Pehle, Mujhe Tumse Pyar Tha, the Mohd Rafi one.Seems it is the 100th birthday of Shri Himmat .Do we normally celebrate a dead person's Birthday ?Well that seems to be the case.

I would not want anyone to celebrate my birthday in the orbits after i am gone.dont waste money , as i would not get to know also, as i have heard there are no newspapers upstairs.Forget me and get on in life.Simple.

 Natasha - Daughter in Law of Natwar Singh, the Congress MP.Committed suicide from a Hotel Top.She did not get along with her husband , who was alleged to be involved in the Volkar Case, the Iraq Oil case of a few years back.
Has Natwar Singh changed his name to NATS .Gettting modern eh

Michelle Vadra - Sister in law of Priyanka Gandhi and sister of Robert Vadhera.She had come to Jaipur a day or two before her death, to attend a  wedding .As she left for Delhi in her Car, they met with an accident at Behror, that is midway to Dehli and she died.Tragic end to such a wonderful girl.

 A Sindhi and Silly Joke 

A Sindhi  having no child,no money, no home,a blind mother,prays to God,

God happy with his prayers, grants him one wish

Sindhi " I want my Mom to see my wife putting diamond bangles on my child's hands in my new mansion"

God - Damn it I still have a lot to learn from these Sindhis.


Tomorrow will come Khuswant's Singh's column in the Hindustan Times.He is my Guru.I am posting my column today, a day before,and i am curious to know if mine is better or his.Just a thought.


KAMAL MAHTANI