Kamalji’s Masala News – US Waste,Tornados,Condoms

1)      American Garbage Raises a Stink – HT – 17^th June 08

Municipal Waste from the US is raising a stink in India with the authourities looking for a solution to dispose it nearly 3 years  after it was mistakenly sent to Tuticorn port.The matter has now landed in court.

Nearly 900  tonnes of plastic,rubber and leather garbage stored in 35 cargo containers cant be sent back to the US or to any other country without plastic content being segregated, its New Jersy exporters Evergreen Specialities said.

My Comments – The fault lies with the US, and they are forcing us to remove the plastic from the Garbage ? Ulta Chor Kotwal ko Dante ! HAHA

I remember many years back we used to import garbage from the US, like newspapers and magazines, the raddi as u say, and the importers made hay, segregating Porn magazines from them.As also we used to import their used clothes for charity and it being sold all over India on the streets .

2)      When Tornadoes are up to Mischief – HT – June 08

Hugo (Minnesota) – As residents in Hugo began to move on from last week’s tornado, some say they noticed a few bizarre things amid all the damages.Jason Akins said the Twister unwound a roll of toilet paper in his bathroom-draped it across the countertop, then rewound it in the sink.The toilet paper didn’t evn rip.

All I could say was “You have to be kidding me “Akins recalled.He also said that winds overturned sofas and ripped away his roof,but his dishes of catfood, and water were untouched.the Cat food was actually still in the bowl.

Some say Tornados have their own personalities

My comments – Well if there is a Kamalji Tornado, the houses will be safe.Just the bottles of whiskeys will fly away from the bar, and u can imagine no lady would be well, err , lets say safe.Hugo  is anyday better I would say.

3)      Antartica Base gets 16,500 condoms – June 08 TOI

One of the latest shipments to a US Research base in Antartica before the onset of winter darkness was a year’s supply of Condoms,They would be available free to staff throughout the year to avoid the embarrassment of having to buy them” Since everyone knows everyone, it becomes a little uncomfortable”

My Comments – Well even today I feel uncomfortable, fearing the shopkeeper would  say “ Uncle Aap Bhi ? “But havnt the Americans learnt from the Indians “ Bindas Bol “.Strange really”.HAHA

But maybe condoms are not what they were sent out for .Maybe it is so cold there, that this could be just another piece of clothing, maybe , u know, to keep things from getting frozen ? I must investigate this,

Tiger Enters House,Sleeps in Kitchen – TOI- June 08

Gosaba (Sunderbans) – Nikhil Mondal;s wife walked into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and almost tripped over a Bengal Tiger.She ran for her life.

It seems the tiger killed a cow in their backyard, devoured it and sneaked into their home to the warmth of their kitchen.

My Comments – Well I find tigers cute.Tuffy reminds me of one.Just imagine going to the kitchen and tripping over a tiger, and saying Tuffy what are u doing here, get lost, go for yr potty outside lazy lump, and then u see this big Tuffy with a piece of cows tails in his mouth ? Right from a scary movie, this scene.

4)      Irked by delay,fliers leave Jet only after pilot lessons on snag – TOI-June 08

Kolkotta – A senior pilot of KingFisher on Tuesday has to explain the intricacies of the Auto pilot Systyem (APS) to passengers before they agreed to get off his aircraft and board the one kept on a standby.

My comments – KINGFISHER  in the news again eh ! But here I would give it good marks for the pilot to be polite, and KF having an aircraft ready for the passengers.

5)      Ex Engineer has 35000 Cobras at his 3 acre Farm – TOI – 18^th June 08

Jamshedpur – 78 year old N K Singh has an eco friendly farm where he keeps 35000 poisinous Cobras .He has 12 mobiles hanging from his neck.” I am delighted whenever I spot a snake and catching them gives me extreme pleasure and satisfaction “

The 12 cell phones are used to answer panic calls of residents who spot snakes in their localities.Working with 2 sticks,singh works and waits hours until the time the snake emerges from hiding.After trapping the cobra, he takes it to his snake farm which already has 35000 of the deadly reptiles.

Singh however is not into charity.He sells the snake venom to Christian Medical College,Vellore for which he is paid Rs. 11 lakhs per ounce.

My comments – This guy makes millions.So those who didn’t get good grades need not despair, u can do this business .anyone interested, I can send a cobra by courier to u, couresty Singh.

And I must interview Singh like I did Danny Pinto. He would be agood subject, nahin ?

6)      Widow Throws a party to go to Heaven – HT June 08

A Rich 90 year old Indian widow of eastern Bihar has spent Rs.15,99,991 on feeding a lakh of people for the meal, says she has noone to bequeath her property.” She told us she could now begin her final journey and her sould could rest in peace in heaven.She was worried that no one would care about throwing feast after her death”

My comments – Well well lady, whenever u want to donate money think of Kamalji.This is what I tell most of my rich cousins.I even offered them my big pic to be kept in their pooja rooms so that they could always remember me , when they want to donate some of their unreasonable wealth.And this offer is open to all of u over here.Feed and dine me,and u will go to wherever u want.Guys and gals let me know please.

( and does feeding people ensure a place in  heaven ?)

A Cute Baby

I was travelling by train to Mumbai and at the platform i happened to see this baby.One of the prettiest i have ever seen.The eyes, just look at their colour.and she is so fair and p retty.The mother is in the background.I told my wife to take permission.What do u guys say, the baby is cute , na !

 This is the sign outside Michel Pinto - Mahim

 
Worli Sea Face During the Rains

 

The View from my Mumbai Room



Till next week Folks.


KAMAL MAHTANI