Danny Pinto = Every Body is Welcome – Part 1

Today,Sunday I called Danny for an appointment and went to meet him at 11 am.The big man was at the gate waiting for me, a person who has never seen  or heard of me before.

We sat in his office, and I was curious to know his sense of humour.First here are some of his famous one liners of the days gone by

1)      We are the last persons to let you Down

2)      Law of Averages

10 out of 10

Good business eh !

3)      Hey Smoker , you are the next guy Coffin’in !

4)      Any place,Anytime,Anywhere,including Heaven.

Rajiv Gandhi – Danny was called to Srip when Rajiv Gandhi was shot dead, by RK Dhawan, the head was smashed and  he had to reconstruct it to make it look presentable.They had to put cotton inside the skull to bring it in shape.He felt very bad for this particular death, as Danny has great respect and admiration for Rajiv.

Ladies – I asked him when they dress ladies, then ladies must be doing it.He said there are no ladies in this line so his male staff does it, as the body has to be lifted and it is a man’s job.The lady relatives are present of course.Mother Teressa Danny and staff did the embalming and everything. The orders came from the Vatican.

The Embalming – Most embalmers put two injections of the liquid in the stomach of the deceased and that’s it.Danny has a special formula which he does not disclose to anyone.They mix 6 other chemicals in the imported liquid.They search out viens and inject every part of the body with 5 litres of the liquid going in.This keeps the body fresh for even upto 2 years.

The Dead who lived on -  Two cases happened to Danny whereby  the deceased came alive.

1)      A person in coma, for a long time declared dead, death certificate issued by the hospital.

They brought the body in the hearse, in an open coffin.The driver heard a BEST  bus honking away to give way, and the driver moved aside.The Bus driver came alongside and shouted at the driver to look back.When the driver turned, he saw the man sitting in the coffin, scratching his head, wondering where he was being taken to

      Danny was called on the phone, those days there were no mobiles around 15 years back.Danny got the shock of his life, and told the driver to turn back to the hospital, and go to the  Doc, who signed the Death Certificate, and show him the patient, and before this thing becomes public and an embarrassment, to close the case there itself.All turned well, and the fellow lived for another 10 years after that, and used to come and meet Danny often at his showroom to thank him for saving his life.

Second Case – This guy too from the hospital brought to the burial ground, taken to the grave, thepriest said his last prayers as did  all the relatives,As they started to put the coffin inside the  pit, ( they put the lid later on), and as they were about to put the lid, this fellow got up and stood.A minute late , and he would have been dead alright.Danny said he found the whole damn thing funny, and nothing he has seen in movies has matched the shocked looks on the faces of the priest and all his relatives.This fellow lived for another year

When they go to exhume the bodies after 18 months to take out the bones, sometimes they have found that the body has turned around.For example they let him down on his back, his face upwards, and when they opened the coffin later they found him lying on his stomach.

This means the deceased got alive inside the coffin in side the grave, but he couldn’t shout as he was down deep under and no one to hear him.This saddens Danny but nothing can be done about it.Mu suggestion would be to put a working mobile inside, so in case he becomes alive, he can call his relatives to bail himout.And for a relative to sit at the grave in case there is a distress call from below.Amen.

That is why he says, nowadays Christians too prefer to burn the dead in the Electric Crematoriums of the Hindus, so that the departed dosnt change his mind and become alive and come back.

A Witty chap, and very warm Danny.So many things he told me, let me keep it for part 2.

KAMAL MAHTANI