Weddings Past and Present
Was to a recent wedding, and noticed the difference between the sixties and now.I talk of Bombay as it was called those days.We used to stay in Chembur and my uncle was getting married in the midsixties.Just see how things were different.
Uncle bought a new shoe from guess where ? the Bata Showroom in Sion.Took hardly 10 minutes.They had just maybe a dozen styles to choose from and u chose one.Today well sky is the limit for a wedding shoe.Next the Suitings showrrom for a Suit piece, Digjam or Raymonds not sure.And a white Liberty readymade shirt for under 100/- ( There was no Chirag Din those days) .
The wedding was held in WIAA, at Churchgate, first floor.We used to have a live band playing, and this was a Sindhi Group very popular those days.All the attendees used to sit on chairs and listen attentively to the songs dished out.And the songs were like “ Baar Baar ye Din Aye ( Stupid fools, how can a man marry again and again) , Baharon Phool Barsao, mera mehboob aya hai, Raja ki Ayegi Barat.Sounds so weird these days.
The hairdo of the ladies was very strange.Huge Huge Buns on their heads, even if a lizard lived for a week inside the bun, the lady wouldn’t know, god promise.And the parlour visit was a must.Anne French and other Lakme were the famous cosmetics those days, I think.
And only soft drinks and iceream,were served, food go home and eat.This buffet has recently started really.And after marriage,the next day we used to have a 5 star get together with say 50 people very close from each side, and it was drinks and dinner, so the bride and bridegrrom could meet the other side well.
But I am sure the couple must be itching to get away for their honeymoon as soon as they can get the chance.And the honeymoon, Simla for the middle class, Kashmir for the slightly upper class.Never ever Singapore or the other destinations that are in vogue now.
And I still feel with a new bride, the place is immaterial, u both can enjoy even in Thane , instead of Tokyo.The fun is within the room, not outside.who wants to see the graves of the past kings, or what undies the king wore a hundred years back, u just want to spend QUALITY TIME, as they say these days,with their spouses,in the hotel.And they know they have to go back home to the grind, and sleep 10 to a room as was the case then, so make the most of the privacy available.
And invariably the bride will come pregnant and vomiting from the honeymoon.I just wonder, why there were no contraceptions, or whatever u call it, then in those days ?Silly people really.Having legal fun, and getting pregnant are two different things really.That is why they say u must be well educated these days.
Today’s Sangeets are in 5 stars, with film stars called sometimes , but those days ladies used to call neighbours and sing in the house.And we kids used to wait for the sweets and other goodies to be served, damn the songs and the ladies.I used to feel very embarrassed even as a kid, thinking we are disturbing the neighbours with our loud songs, but everyone used to join in, and it was fun at its cheapest best.
Ah the Wedding Car – We used to hire an Impala, those fuel guzzling imported Car,and decorate it with Flowers.the band people used to sing below the building till u got in the car, and straight to the Gurudwara where I had my 7 pheras, from 4 pm to 7, and the drive straight to the wedding venue.These days the pheras are conducted after the reception, late into the night.
And in my wedding we remember, the hotel people gave us a Limca I think with two very large bent straws, we both had to drink at the same time.that was their meaning of the couple showing love.Now I don’t see that anymore.
And those days couples after marriage used to eat from the same plate.I never did , for the simple reason I am a non veg and wife is a veg, so the two cannot combine.Even if I was a veg, I would not do it.I find it repulsive really.Its like sharing a toothbrush, or a toilet paper.Did any of u do it, I mean share meals in the same plate ?
The pandits were less greedy those days, give them whatever they want.And we used to put 1 or 2 ruppee notes those down when he said “ Swahah” .Nowdays the priests demand 100 bucks per offering.He makes a good packet.
So for my daughter’s wedding, I called the pandit aside and made a proforma invoice, whereby his total claims to all the functions came to 5000/- and we both signed on the contract.And his last demand was “ Kamalji since u are giving away your daughter, u must give a cow to the pandit ? Cow ? what the hell is this, I thought.A cow must be costing a bomb,But the pandit was decent, and he sensed what I was thinking, and he said looking at the frown on my forehead” Kamalji, give me symbolic token of 500 for the cow, and lo the cow is donated.I immediately agreed, and we agreed for 5500/- for the whole show,I paid him 2000/- advance took his voucher, and told him final balance after the wedding, not a penny before.And that’s the way it happened.
For my cousins’s wedding last year, cousin from Chile, I got the same pandit for the wedding held in jaipur.Same term and conditions.And the couple wanted the English translation of the Sanskrit, which the pandit said, I know English so don’t worry..So English scroll versions for each guest were printed.these are the nakras these days in the weddings.My cousin was thrilled with the cost of the Pandit.
Times change and so do we.What was more fun, then or now,God knows.But what God dosnt know, and I know, is the pocket is mch much lighter after marriages these days.
Ultimate winners are the Pandits.Marriage works or not, they are richer, quite richer.I wish I was the pandit I would get to hold each bride’s hand even if it is for a few seconds.And at least all u pretty ladies here would have called me as a pandit, and I could have got to see u at least.and for blogggersI would have given a 50% discount.And no cow daan for u ladies.Just give Kamalji pandit a bottle of u know what,and I would sing original verses, which only I would understand.But well next Janam.God is cruel to me at times.Amen.
KAMAL MAHTANI
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Rotten Tomatoes,
Man both the jokes are brillaint and so are u.Change yr name man, and come over and blog.You are a sensible chap with a brilliant sense of humour.Thanks for yr comments.Regards.kamal
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Dear Kamalji,
If you have closely studied , almost all the marriages are brought about based on certain reasoning.
What i mean by reasoning is that ,there was something about the man or a woman that you deeply pondered and arrived after prolonged deliberation.
Whatsoever that weighed for you to provide your consent to marry is called your reason.
When you say I love this woman and i want to marry her, have you arrived at that conclusion based on certain reasons?
If your answer is in the affirmative it may disappear any time.
Now not only the west is a victim of such a reason which lead to destruction of marriage, increasingly even in the east it has become rampant.
All the decisions that were arrived at based on the reasons are also vanishing for various reasons.
If you love someone truly, there is no need for a marriage.
Because you are such a poor lover and you cant bond in friendhsip well, marriage came into existence.
Marriage is a legal contract. Its a licence to own a woman.
Just like the way you have the licence to own a dog.
And licence is no gurantee for love.There are so many dogs with a licence that have been kept chained the whole day to one place. That turns out to be their abode.
That is not the way you love dogs.
The chained dog is more ferocious than the unchained.
Slightest provocation the woman is unmanagable.
Reminds me of a joke::
An argument erupted between a married couple.
The husband says:“My darling, you are wrong.”
“Am I…? You mean, that I’m not telling you the truth…? So, what are you saying? That I’m lying!?… You call me a liar!?
“No, no, no…. Darling, I’m just…, just…”
“Oh!!! You think, I don’t know what I’m saying!!? …You mean, I’m just bitching..!!!? MOTHER, HE CALLED ME A STUPID LYING BITCH…!!!!”
In the years to come the words Husband and Wife will slowly slowly vanish. May be Girlfriends and Boyfriends will sound more respectable and preferred.
A little boy of 6 years together with his girl friend of 5 years approached his mother with the news that they are going to get married.
"What are you going to do for the money?" asked the mother
"Well I have a pocket money of Rs.10/- for a week and Mary gets Rs.5/ was the reply.
The mother asked " Where will you and she live?"
"The little boy said "One week she will live in our house and the next week I will go to her place"
"What are you going to do when you have children?" Asked the mother enjoying the fun.
Well the boy replied ::"Touch wood --So far we have been very lucky"
Girlfriends and Boyfriends are innocent innocent .
Husbands and wifes are wicked.
Rottentomato
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Rajaji,
Do u know most pandit's drink , eat meat and smoke these days ? And they like good stuff.Like this pandit, when after marriage we gave him some Indian Choclates, good ones, the guy said, dont u have some imported ones, myu kids love them.So gave him those, as this was an auspicious occassion.And also a carton of ciggies, which he saw lying around and asked me.
Thats life, and these are the people who ensuer yr marriage will be sucessful.HAHA.
and they allow u these days to take pheras, with shoes on for the bride and the groom, can u beleve it.Ive seen it with my own eyes, as also seen the couple kisssing lip to lip with the permission of the pandit !
so how can anyone blame me, when i just beleive in all these rituals by heart, bu t go thru the motions, for the sake ofeveryone.
Regards.kamal
Ranjiniji,
Good ur hubby ticked off thepanmdit. how the hell do they become one.They think we are fools or what !Why did u eat so slow .The food was all yours to eat,HAHA.And how slow or fast are u these days .curious to know.Regards.kamal
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Kiranji,
Yes with everyone drunk, the boys side would forget about Dowry.documents signed, and when out of stupour,they cant demand can they ?And just imagine kamalji sprinkling BL on everyone.What a wonderful scene will that be ! All the other pandits will kill me, i will become so popular.
and i will conduct on NRI weddings, and have them put dollors in the Swaha thing, and they are the only one who will gift me the real BL and Don Perione Champagne.
Today weddings have really become a tamasha.And pandits are making hay.Regards.kamal
Keshavbhai,
The joke was damn good .I would prefer to have a nice girl in a local hotel, to being alone in an exotic place all alone.
that proves honeymoon is a wasteful expenditure.Yes go to an exotic place a few years after marriage, to reniew and strenghten the marriage, that is when u need it most, not in the beginning.But i could be wrong, dear friend
Thanks and Regards.kamal
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Red,
Regards.kamal
Well marriage is funny business.When all the couple want is to be with themselves, we subject them to torture to meet new pople, and to be polite to each,at least when i was married, i found it a torture on the stage.
And i find it funny, i had bell bottoms, ugs really.
Blizzard,
Thanks
Regards.kamal
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Dear Ashu,
You should see Jaipur during the weddings . On a scooter, hubby wife, 2 kids, and one in tummy,they use the scootie like a truck,i can make out by the clothing of the lady, all decked up with jewellerym and they they complain that a chain snatcher took away the chain.You invite them.
Family of 11 for 11 bucks ! That still happens .I know a family here, if u call them 30 of them will come, for 251 maybe.They find wedding food cheaper than a hotel.
I will check that one out, not to worry.Regards.kamal
Sunkan,
Me and decent ! Sunkan u need glasses really.next time i will get them for u.Well one can wish sometimes for certain things.When i see a bank manager, i wish i was one.40000 salary,job secure, good pension the guy will get along with 20 lakhs Cheque, so my preferences keep changing each time.Change is hte name of the game .
But one thing i would like to remain is Kamalji.HAHA.REgards.kamal
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That was a riot, Kamalji. Entertaining read.
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To kamalji
The hairdo of the ladies was very strange.Huge Huge Buns on their heads, even if a lizard lived for a week inside the bun, the lady wouldn’t know, god promise : Well said. Here are some proofs what you said.
courtesy google
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Pandit Kamalji,
Unfortunately I'm already married, so I will keep this in mind and call you for my daughter's wedding and as you say I will give you a dhaan of a bottle of the finest mineral water (well mineral waters also cost a bomb these days).
Good one Kamalji as usual a riot :-)
- Sudha
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Kamalji,
In my own wedding, we had two priests, one from husband's side and one from my side. Our guy was proficient in Sanskrit, but their guy was a dummy! His mispronunciations were annoying my husband who is very good in Sanskrit and he either kept correcting him or changing them the way he wanted.
Also, we were asked to eat from a pair of banana leaves that were inter-leaved. I stayed on my side and he did the same, but we knew we were a match made in heaven because we were both reallllllly slow eaters. We were the last to finish and of course the butt of jokes.
Enjoyed reading your comparisons.
ranjini
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