Weddings Past and Present

Was to a recent wedding, and noticed the difference between the sixties and now.I talk of Bombay as it was called those days.We used to stay in Chembur and my uncle was getting married in the midsixties.Just see how things were different.

Uncle bought a new shoe from guess where ? the Bata Showroom in Sion.Took hardly 10 minutes.They had just maybe a dozen styles to choose from and u chose one.Today well sky is the limit for a wedding shoe.Next the  Suitings showrrom for a Suit piece, Digjam or Raymonds not sure.And a white Liberty readymade shirt for under 100/- ( There was no Chirag Din those days) .

The wedding was held in WIAA, at Churchgate, first floor.We used to have a live band playing, and this was a Sindhi Group very popular those days.All the attendees used to sit on chairs and listen attentively to the songs dished out.And the songs were like “ Baar Baar ye Din Aye ( Stupid fools, how can a man marry again and again) , Baharon Phool Barsao, mera mehboob aya hai, Raja ki Ayegi Barat.Sounds so weird these days.

The hairdo of the ladies was very strange.Huge Huge Buns on their heads, even if a lizard lived for a week inside the bun, the lady wouldn’t know, god promise.And the parlour  visit was a must.Anne French and other Lakme were the famous cosmetics those days, I think.

And only soft drinks and iceream,were served, food go home and eat.This buffet has recently started really.And after marriage,the next day we used to have a 5 star get together with say 50 people very close from each side, and it was drinks and dinner, so the bride and bridegrrom could meet the other side well.

But I am sure the couple must be itching to get away for their honeymoon as soon as they can get the chance.And the honeymoon, Simla for the middle class, Kashmir for the slightly upper class.Never ever Singapore or the other destinations that are in vogue now.

And I still feel with a new bride, the place is immaterial, u both can enjoy even in Thane , instead of Tokyo.The fun is within the room, not outside.who wants to see the graves of the past kings, or what undies the king wore a hundred years back, u just want to spend QUALITY TIME, as they say these days,with their spouses,in the hotel.And they know they have to go back home to the grind, and sleep 10 to a room as was the case then, so make the most of the privacy available.

And invariably the bride will come pregnant and vomiting from the honeymoon.I just wonder, why there were no contraceptions, or whatever u call it, then in those days ?Silly people really.Having legal fun, and getting pregnant are two different things really.That is why they say u must be well educated these days.

Today’s Sangeets are in 5 stars, with film stars called sometimes , but those days ladies used to call neighbours and sing in the house.And we kids used to wait for the sweets and other goodies to be served, damn the songs and the ladies.I used to feel very embarrassed even as a kid, thinking we are disturbing the neighbours with our loud songs, but everyone used to join in, and it was fun at its cheapest best.

Ah the Wedding Car – We used to hire an Impala, those fuel guzzling imported Car,and decorate it with Flowers.the band people used to sing below the building till u got in the car, and straight to the Gurudwara where I had my 7 pheras, from  4 pm to 7, and the drive straight to the wedding venue.These days the pheras are conducted after the reception, late into the night.

And in my wedding we remember, the hotel people gave us a Limca I think with two very large bent straws, we both had to drink at the same time.that was their meaning of  the couple showing love.Now I don’t see that anymore.

And those days couples after marriage used to eat from the same plate.I never did , for the simple reason I am a non veg and wife is a veg, so the two cannot combine.Even if I was a veg, I would not do it.I find it repulsive really.Its like sharing a toothbrush, or a toilet paper.Did any of u do it, I mean share meals in the same plate ?

The pandits were less greedy those days, give them whatever they want.And we used to put 1 or 2 ruppee notes those down when he said “ Swahah” .Nowdays the priests demand 100 bucks per offering.He makes a good packet.

So for my daughter’s wedding, I called the pandit aside and made a proforma invoice, whereby his total claims to all the functions came to 5000/- and we both signed on the contract.And his last demand was “ Kamalji since u are  giving away your daughter, u must give a cow to the pandit ? Cow ? what the hell is this, I thought.A cow must be costing a bomb,But the pandit was decent, and he sensed what I was thinking, and he said looking at the frown on my forehead” Kamalji, give me symbolic token of 500 for the cow, and lo the cow is donated.I immediately agreed, and we agreed for 5500/- for the whole  show,I paid him 2000/- advance took his voucher, and told him final balance after the wedding, not a penny before.And that’s the way it happened.

For my cousins’s wedding  last year, cousin from Chile, I got the same pandit for the wedding held in jaipur.Same term and conditions.And the couple wanted the English translation of the Sanskrit, which the pandit said, I know English so don’t worry..So English scroll versions for each guest were printed.these are the nakras these days in the weddings.My cousin was thrilled with the cost of the Pandit.

Times change and so do we.What was more fun, then or now,God knows.But what God dosnt know, and I know, is the pocket is mch much lighter after marriages these days.

Ultimate winners are  the Pandits.Marriage works or not, they are richer, quite richer.I wish I was the pandit I would get to hold each bride’s hand even if it  is for a few seconds.And at least all u pretty ladies here  would have called me as a pandit, and I could have got to see u at least.and for blogggersI would have given a 50% discount.And no cow daan for u ladies.Just give Kamalji pandit a bottle of u know what,and I would sing original verses, which only I would understand.But well next Janam.God is cruel to me at times.Amen.

KAMAL MAHTANI