My Orbituary

I just read a wonderful piece by Rama Rao called My Own Orbituary.this is the link

http://rama-rao-garimella.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/12/my-own-obituary.htm

This inspires me to write one on this theme, which is close to my heart, but not palatable a subject to many.

I read the orbituaries in the news papers intently, as I look for humour in them.And i find that all nice people die only, as the descriptions of the departed, are all in glowing terms.I always wonder what happened to those womanisers, drunkards, gamblers,those who owe lots of money to public and credit card companies, and the likes of such ! Do they never die.

Sometimes i see a couple in the orbituary.It means they both died but not naturally.How can the couple die the same day.Then it would be a Guiness Records stuff.They must have died in a Car accident perhaps.This reminds me, Dad never allowed us 4 brothers to go for a movie in the same car.Two in one car, and he used to give us a 100 bucks for the other two to go in a cab.I used to get very bugged with dad, and tell him i drive slowly, i am not rash, but he would hear nothing of it.Even he and his 3 brothers never travelled in the same train or flight.

And now even i have this habit of avoiding to travell the whole family together in a flight.We split mostly if i can help it.Paranoid ! Perhaps.I have seen families wiped out in one accident,i see the orbituaries, why take the chance really.I know most of u wont agree with me, but i have taken after my Dad's genes perhaps.So be it.

And when i die I want to be written about my own way.I want people to know that the departed Kamalji may have been a rascal, but he was a writer too.And they can go and read my blogs after i am no more.Now i dont publicise much that i am a writer, bcs more i

let people know my sulekha ID, then i cant write about them and their ideocracies.After i am no more, let them read what i have written about them, and curse or praise me for all i care.I wont be around to hear their curses and verdict.

I have made my will long ago.When Dad suddenly passed away,i made my will immediately and took it to my Doc to sign,as these days we need theDoctor's signature and seal to testify that I know Kamalji, son of so and so, and he isin his right frame of mind, and there is nopressure or force on him.

The Doc looked at me, and said " Kamalji, do u have any serious disease ? I am yr family Doc, tell me.I said doc, just because i  have made my will, u think i am going to conk off?This is just security for my wife.If something happens to me, i just hope all my hard earned money goes to my wife, and not to theGovt , thats all.He did sign and looked at me quizically.I am alive even 12 years after i  have made my will.

Suraiya died a few years back, and Naushad told her to make a will as she had no one.But she was scared that after one makes a will , one dies soon.She left property worth 50 crores 5 year s back which at today's rates must be many times more, and it is lying with the Govt, as she made no will.How i wish she had met me, and i would have convinced her that dear, u wont die, look at the living proof in front of you.And might have persuaded her to gift me one flat in her will, out of love and affection, as the phrase goes.

Can u beleive it, I have convinced doctors to make a will.I type it and send it to them, and they aer ever so grateful to me for that.So Kamalji is not stupid, rather not as much as u guys think.HAHA.Life is very ironical really.The same doctors who see so many people die in front of them think themselves to be invincible.Ironic.

I would like my orbituary to be written as

Kamalji went many a mile,

To bring on every face a smile.

Read Kamalji on   xxxxxxxx.sulekha .com, and see what he may have written about them.And have my video film playing at my condolences, welcoming each guest and where they can see me.Macabre ? Nope.Practical, and something they will remember me all thru their lives.Amen

KAMAL MAHTANI