The Mumbai I knew

I was born and brought up in Mumbai,and married too there.The first half of my years 27,were spent in  Mumbai,and the other 27 in jaipur.I have very fond memories of Mumbai.

I was born in Ulhasnagar,and then we shifted thru Ghatkopar, Sion,Chembur,finally settling in Worli,where my Mom and brothers are still there.Mumbai these days is very crowded,the traffic a nightmare,but when i talk of the Seventies,it was heaven.Bus Stops we used to stand in line,and the buses used to stop at Stops,not like now when they just dont stop and stop at the signals,where people get down.A friend of mine used to stand for hours at the Opera House Bus Stop,where noone  knew him,and he was in the habit of rushing with the crowd for the bus,but with no intention of getting in the bus.but to pinch a few bottoms in the crowd.This was his idea of thrills.

Theatres were excellent,and exciting.Just as u ladies love to bargain for fruits and vegetables,we friends used to love standing for extra tickets,asking every pretty girl passing by, "Any extras ?",and haggling with the black marketers over the rates.Most good movies used to be housefull from day one.Sterling Cinema used to have the underground parking,very steep ramp,and while coming out after the movie,my Fiat could not climb the ramp with the friends inside,and i had to tell them to Get off the Car, only then it could climb up.And it was embarrassing,as other cars were lined up after mine,and honking away impatiently.

I have seen movies like "Danger diabolik",( the orignal of the Amitabh Zanjeer), in Rex Cinema,in the bylanes behind VT Station,as also a cinema house called Radio.I dont know if these still exist.And Grant Road had the best assortment of Cinemas like Super (where Shaildendra the Raj Kapoor Lyrcist used to sell Tickets at the counter),Novelty(prostitutes used to do all in the open,could see it from the roads,as they had no curtains),and hence my first choice those days.Good Time Pass.And there was Alexendra, the famous Theatre, whose Gatekeepers used to translate the English movie name into Hindi(they had the bosses permission).

Their Translation of the Bond movie Goldfinger was very funny,see if it makes sense "Sone ki Ungli,ne kiya Bahut Khujli" !Another Bond movie called "Thunderball" was  "Barish Ayee,Hua Thunder"Picture dekhne Aaoo Ander ".Of course this theatre,alongwith Moti,Taj,Silver, were infested with pimps and prostitutes,and i have been privileged to have them as my companions besides me.How many of u can boast of such an august  company !And i was very handsome those days,I think so,and was solicited inside the movie halls,for as little as 10 bucks.But i found movies a better bet.

Trains were less crowded than now,i could comfortably get in and get a seat then.Take a Miday for a buck and sit and read the gossip.But i could never buy a ticket as there used to be a line of dozen guys for the tics,so i travelled without a Tic always.I knew no one would dare enter a 3rd class compartment and check.As i used to get down, i would go and stand besides the TT at the gate,insde the platform and keep looking at my watch,as though waiting for someone,and as soon as the TT got busy with a guy checking his ticket,I used to quietly slip out.I used to wait to be caught once,so that i pay the fine,and have a clean consience,but tht time never came.If i add interest for all these years,im sure the amount now that i have to pay will run into thousands if not lakhs.

After 8 pm, driving was a pleasure,we used to go for night movies,and my rickety fiat could notch up 60 kms speed,and from Worli to excelsior we could reach in 25 mins flat,a distant dream these days.And the lovers,who can forget them.Worli Sea Face,used to have Cars lined up,with the boss and secretary combo, Bf Gf, or god knows other combos.We friends used to get in my car,and we would go and park behind a car with action.We could see in the dark just two heads close to each other,and suddenly one head dissappearing,and we could imagine all sort of things.I would suddenly open the head lights,which would catch the couple by surprise,cruise besides their car,and my friends would give them a few choicy bad words,and run away to another victim.

I had gone with a friend to Ulhasnagar,for some embroidery work for our exports,as most karigars used to stay there.on the way back at around 7,it was getting dark,and we reached the station to catch the train back.My friend felt like doing the big job,and in those days we did not have the Sulabh Toilets at Stations.So myfriend could not wait, told me to wait and went to do his job little behind the station.He sat down,merrily reading his Midday paper,and later planning to use it as a Toilet paper.As he finished,he was about to wipe himself,when he felt something warm at his backside.As he turns to see he sees a huge pig licking his ass,eating the goodies right at the source.My friend just got up and ran for his life,and I could not stop laughing seeing his state,all hanging out.Poor guy i still rib him about it.

We used to swim at a swimming pool called Mahatma Gandhi Swimming Pool at Dadar,was it,or Mahim.Somebody had written that the the water inside had 90% urine,and 10% water.Knowing that too, we used to go,as it was the cheapest at 1 buck per swim,time unlimited.Once I forgot my trunks,my friend said dont worry , the give on rent too, we will take that.We went to the counter,and they said sorry out of stock,wait a while.We said ok.Suddenly we see a skinny looking dark boy giving his wet used trunks to the counter,and the same were given to us.I can swear by anything, they must have contained any number of diseases,as that guy looked sick,I tell you.That was the day i did not swim and we came back.I dont know if the pool still exists.

And people at this pool had no ethics.i could feel the guys peeing in,as u can see the bubbles coming out,or farting in the pool with a big bubble coming out from the back of his trunks.But those were the days,my friends,I was young and Gay.Gay had a different meaning those days.Now i have turned from Gay to Grey.

Mumbai, dear Mumbai, Imiss those railway trains and the crowds, the pee fuilled swimming pools,the flies over the Sugarcane Juice,those free rides in the trains,and the prostitutes besides me in the cinema hall.Oh to be young and Gay  again.Will God ever listen to me !

KAMAL MAHTANI